It's been one of my worst mental health weeks in a long time. It was also supposed to be my first week back in therapy, but that got rescheduled.
So, until I go, I am trying not to spiral into a pool of anxiety and despair.
I know, this is pretty bleak.
Speaking of bleak, as I scroll through post after post on Israel and Palestine; as I read every “take” and gaze upon every meme, as I see how people who've never once spoken on global issues are now self-proclaimed experts, I realize we are living out that famous trolley experiment online.
We are living it on our Instagram feeds and TiKTok FYP.
We are living it in our Threads arguments and X debates.
We are living it on our blogs and in our Substacks.
What is the trolley experiment?
The trolley experiment is a hypothetical ethical dilemma in which you have a runaway trolley that is hurtling toward a group of people (say 10) on the track (Why people are chillin on a trolley track is beyond me). The driver could save all those people by pulling a lever and diverting the car to another track, but, you guessed it, there's a person hanging out on this one.
So the question posed is, do you kill one person to save more?
A related question is do you MAKE THE CHOICE to take an action that would save a greater number of people?
As I watch the narrative of the war unfold in front of me, I am wondering about this question more and more.
People who have little to no understanding of war, let alone one involving a complicated history of two peoples, seem to have an idealized view that if only Israel did nothing, peace would magically bloom in a new Israel/Palestine utopia or just Palestine.
If Israel is the trolley driver, as these people seem to believe, it doesn't have to kill anyone. There has to be away for it to sacrifice itself to prevent any bloodshed.
And, by sacrifice, lots of people mean cease to exist.
But that isn't possible, both theoretically and in reality.
This war has trapped thousands in a cage of violence with Israel placed in the position of having to protect its citizens and save the hostages all while mitigating civilian casualties.
It is an awful situation, and if one track represented saving Israelis and the other saving Palestinians, it would seem the overwhelming view of those on the far and not-so-far left would be Israeli lives are worth less.
I realize many could argue the same regarding the disregard for Palestinian life. I have seen it myself.
It's been a viscious slew of endless body counts and oneupmanship.
There is no answer to the trolley problem. No moral high road to take.
You do nothing and leave things to chance, and many die, or you take action and know your choice means deliberately killing someone.
This is the mental exercise we are playing out online all while real people continue to live in fear.