How "Inventing Anna" Reminded Me Of Narcissists I Have Known
Or, They're More Common Then You Think
I just finished watching Inventing Anna, the awesomely terrible account of how Anna Sorokin, managed to dupe, charm, swindle and manipulate everyone around her into believing she was a wealthy German Heiress named Anna Delvey.
I don’t recall much of the events of Anna’s rise and fall proving — much to Delvey/Sorokin’s chagrin — that there really is a time-limit to fame, and most people don’t give two shits about you once something shinier is waved in front of their faces.
I also had little interest in the Anna Delvey story, and would have skipped the Shondaland Netflix series, were it not for the fact that Julia Garner was cast as the titular lead.
Garner is a once-in-a-generation actor. Her portrayal of Ruth Langmore, the smart-mouthed, trailer-park-dwelling, street smart drug pusher/money launderer on Ozark is the highlight of the acclaimed Netflix series. So, when I heard she was starring in another Netflix project, I really didn’t care what it was, I just knew Garner would be amazing.
And, she was. Julia Garner should win the Emmy/Globe/SAG/every other award for Best Actress in a Limited Series. Her performance is flawless, and, if you watch video of the real Anna Delvey, you will be more impressed at Garner’s mastery of Delvey’s unique accent and mannerisms.
Garner hooked me in, and I watched the entire Inventing Anna series, despite much of it being a bit “extra” for my taste. I don’t think the producers, writers, and directors behind the series were going for a serious recount of real life events, and I took every episode as a good indulgence.
However, while watching the series, I found myself thinking about my own experiences with people like Anna. Yes, I know, we all are a little bit like her, in that we all exaggerate a bit and attempt to present ourselves in the best light.
We all are a bit dishonest.
There’s tweaking the truth, and there’s the level of distortion and manipulation that can only be carried out by certifiable narcissists.
Narcissists are often talked about as some mythical beings, some creatures that only a few, unfortunate suckers have encountered. We believe we would never be stupid enough to fall for the antics of someone like Anna, and that surely we could see right through their bullshit and call them out accordingly.
What’s more, very few narcissists realize they are narcissists, and not believing they are narcissists is part of what fuels their narcissism.
People with an inflated sense of self and entitlement believe there is nothing wrong with them and any act taken against them is an egregious attack on their character. They have the ability to simultaneously believe they are better than everyone yet also the victim of a world which doesn’t appreciate them.
Of course, I am not a psychologist, so this is all just my lay person thoughts.
I can share how I have seen narcissist in action. In one case in particular, I watched on the sidelines as one person — much like Anna Delvey — charmed their way into various situations, leading to some impressive achievements unbefitting of their actual level of skill or talent. This person talked a very good game without any tangible results to back them up. It didn’t matter that many people saw through all of this, all that matter was the “right” people were impressed.
I have little idea, what this person is up to, nor do I care. I don’t think they’re a bad person, or that they are doing major harm. I do wonder about others who may have missed out on opportunities given to someone much less qualified, but I can’t let that dominate my life.
Instead, I choose to focus my energy and supporting those who may not be great at “playing the game” or are disenfranchised or overlooked. There are so many people out their busting their asses for a chance at a tiny slice of success, who do so without a sense of inflated entitlement and a need for justifying the manipulation of others.
I will give Anna Delvey credit for trying to use her platform to further social justice causes. She has spoken, out, for example, about reparations for Black Americans, and against the crimes of Donald Trump. I recognize these actions also serve to further the ego, but if her platform can lead to real change, does it matter? If you’re gonna be a narcissist, might as well use it to do some good in this world.